Thursday, August 07, 2014

what's going on, and pathological proselytizers

This will be a bit off topic as it has nothing to do with weight, but it's what's been going on in my life.
A couple of weeks ago, my best friend found a huge (golf ball sized) lump in her breast. The same day she went to the doctor for it, my other good friend had to take her ex-husband to court because he was threatening to kill her and kidnap their (now grown) children. My mom hadn't been feeling good, and 3 days after all this happened, she went to the doctor and they said she was in congestive heart failure with possible kidney failure.
So it was like bam-bam-bam, all these people around me, possibly going down. Cancer, murder/kidnapping, heart failure. 
Obviously, I was a mess. I know I get too wrapped up in other people's stuff, but possible cancer? My mom could die? My friend's literally insane (schizophrenic) ex-husband telling a judge he was going to "get her" in open court? How can I blithely ignore any of that and go on?
The obvious thing to do was to bring it up in my stress management and coping skills group therapy session. That's what it's for, right?
I told the story basically how I told it here.  And I added the caveat, to go with that day's theme, that my "story" (internal monologue) is that I'm alone.  Having the possibility of losing 3 people who are close to me reinforces that story.
Since it's a coping skills group, the response should be, here's some ways to cope with this issue.  And then everyone discusses my problems for a couple of minutes, and we move onto someone else.
Instead, this guy speaks up.  He is a schizophrenic Bible thumper and, IMHO, doesn't belong in the group.  A few weeks back, I had given my business card to a lady in the group who was interested in buying some Tibetan singing bowls from me.  He asked for one too.  I really didn't want to give him one...but I did.  Now that comes back to haunt me.
Basically, this guy said (not a quote, more of a summing up), "If you believed in God then all these bad things wouldn't be happening around you.  I went to your web site, and you believe in some horrible things, and this is what happens."
To say that I wanted to smack him, to scream at him, doesn't do my feelings justice.
Did you just say that because I'm a pagan, my friend might have cancer, my other friend's ex wants to kill her and hurt their children, and my mom might die?!
Two of the people on that list are (nominally) Christian.  So your precious God would punish other people who believe in him because of my nonbelief?
I am firmly convinced that this guy's pathological need to preach and bring up Jesus and the Bible for every fucking subject is part of his mental disorder.  Some kind of transference of addiction (from drugs and alcohol to JEBUS!).  My insurance company isn't paying for me to go to Bible school, they are paying for me to go to therapy. 
I have a call into the therapist that runs the group. I'm hoping he calls me back before our next session.  I don't even want to talk anymore.  If this ass brings up Jesus or the Bible or being a Christian again in response to someone's problems, I might go off on him.  And you know I'll be the one to get in trouble.  He told a woman who was very sad and has anhedonia (inability to feel joy) that she should have FAITH because when she dies she'll be with JESUS and everything will be good then and nothing now matters.  The therapist did not say anything.  I sat there with my mouth open, thinking, did you just basically tell this person to kill herself to be happy with Jesus?
I wonder if I should say "it's this group that's stressing me out, the one person who can't stop talking about Jesus," at today's session.
image source

Follow up: my friend's lump was full of fluid and most likely a benign cyst. Other friend got a third-party restraining order, meaning if her ex contacts anyone about her, he goes to jail. My mom is still undergoing tests but now they think it's not heart or kidneys but something else.

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1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Holy shit.

(I feel like that is applicable on several levels here.)

So glad things look better for your friends/mom than they did before; scary stuff.

I want to punch that fundy asshole in your group. And to ask your therapist "WTF?!"