Thursday, August 28, 2014

followups: Preaching and Mom and FML

So last week the God-Botherer (as I think of him) did not mention God, the Bible, or Jesus. He sat in the corner radiating horrible energy. Red and black tentacles, anger. Like a nest of angry rattlesnakes. Honestly, a bit scary. I think he needs an exorcism and I'm pagan and don't believe in demons or devils.
But the more I thought about him, and certain things he said, the more I started to be afraid of him and not want to be near him and his horrible energy anymore.
Today in group, one guy was talking about his situation. His pregnant girlfriend dumped him. He is scared he won't be part of his baby's life. All valid concerns and cromulent things to discuss in a coping skills group. God-Botherer speaks up. Basically, this is what he said: The Bible says you shouldn't have sex before marriage. If you practiced abstinence this wouldn't have happened to you. I groaned, out loud (fuck him) and very pointedly turned my back and stared at the wall.  The therapist started to berate him, rather gently, saying that religion wasn't appropriate here.  God-Botherer just steamrolled over him and started saying how "in the good old days" there was only two religions, Jesus Christ and Jewish.  (That's how he put it.)  He then referred to a woman in the group who is maybe 50 and said, "she remembers."  I turned to her, and speaking over God-botherer, said, "You look pretty good for being 2,000 years old" and she laughed.  Someone else said that Islam was also a valid third religion.  God-Botherer was still talking about abstinence and how no one should have sex before marriage ever for any reason because BIBLE and people used to follow the Bible and this never happened then.  Finally I said, very loudly, "This has nothing to do with this guy's problems!"
I'm visiting my PCP next week.  If she will take over prescribing my prozac I am quitting that group.  And I am telling the therapist I am quitting because that guy is offensive and also scary and totally doesn't belong in that group.

My mom's cancer is stage 4.  She started chemo this week.  She is weak.  All the fluid they had drained from her abdomen came back.  She can't eat.   She can't poop.   She is crabby.  Everything makes her cry.  It is awful.  I am heartbroken and frustrated and I don't know what to do.

A couple of days after my last post, my car broke down at 142,000 miles.  I had to junk it.  My husband got me a new SUV, slightly smaller, but now we have double car payments for 25 months.   The plan had been that my car would make it until September 2016 and then I'd get a new one.  So yay, I have an awesome new car.  and BOO it's costing A LOT of money to have this car.  Hubby doesn't believe in used cars.
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Rebecca said...

Glad the therapist (tried to) shut that guy's line of argument down. It sucks that you also had to yell at him, but he was being really inappropriate. If he was gone, would you continue with the group? I can imagine it being a resource and support for you, esp. right now with your stress with your mom, but only if it's actually functional.

So sorry your mom is suffering and you feel like you can't help her. That sounds really frustrating and sad. Does the hospital have a social worker? Maybe that person could help you determine ways for you to help (beyond all that I'm sure you're already doing for your mom.) *hugs*

Sayword B. Eller said...

I have the double car payment too. It sucks a lot. Cancer is an evil buggar. I wish there was some way to defeat it. No one should have to go through it. I am still keeping your mom firmly in my thoughts.

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