Wednesday, May 29, 2013

900 lb man show (spoilers)

Watched the new TLC offering, 900 lb man. It is the story of Ricky Naputi, of Guam, who initially claimed to weigh 900 lbs.

First off, I was annoyed at the title, because he weighed 775.  He GUESSED 900, but that's not what he weighed. 900 pounds, that's scary.  775, well, anyone can weigh that, that's not scary.  (So I imagine the conversation as they decide what to title the show.) And somehow I doubt that at 775 he was the "world's fattest man" as many people have weighed over 1000 lbs for real.

That is not to trivialize his plight.  He was, indeed, enormous, barely able to move, naked in the bed (and from the frequent blurring of the film in certain regions, shameless).  The skin on his lower abdomen was black from being utterly stretched to the limit, the way some super obese people's legs get when they also have lymph edema.

He was utterly dependent on his wife, who fed him ridiculous amounts of food, 10,000+ calories a day.  She moved in with him pretty much immediately upon meeting him and has been caring for him every since (10 years).  She had some kind of pathology, I don't know the name of it, but it's when your identity is all bound up in being a caregiver and the attention you get for giving up your life to take care of someone else.  Or she's a feeder.  She acted very oddly.  My husband was hardly watching the show and even he remarked on how weird she was.  She'd weep and wail and cry that her husband was going to die, what would she do without him, she had to do everything alone, who would help her so he could lose weight.  And then when someone helped, she didn't follow the diet when feeding him and he didn't lose any weight.

He reached out to a patient advocate from Texas, Angie Flores, a woman who had had successful weight loss surgery.  She befriended him, talked to him on the phone, and did her best to try to find him help.  She flew to Guam to meet him.  She gave him diet and exercise advice (not followed).  Tried to get him into a nursing home where he could be monitored until he lost enough weight to get surgery.  Found a surgeon, Dr. Vong, who was willing to do the surgery if he could be relocated.  

He didn't lose the weight he needed.  The nursing home was wary of taking someone so very large and refused to admit him.  They even tried to see if they could bring him to Australia instead of the U.S. since it's closer, but he still needed to lose a hundred pounds or so first.

I felt bad for him, but he had two years to try to lose enough weight to then be taken off-island to get WLS.  He lost no weight.

And finally, they played the 911 call of his wife saying he wasn't breathing.  He died at age 39 in November 2012.  The patient advocate who had been planning the trip to move him to a hospital for WLS instead went back to Guam for his memorial service.

His weird wife?  She didn't go to his funeral.

I was going to post a picture of him, but all of them make me feel too sad for him.  Google his name.


If you are reading this ANYWHERE but on itsafatlife.blogspot.com, it's stolen; please let me know. wholelottarosieyoung at yahoo dot com. Thank you.
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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Losing weight for vacation, or not

I don't want to be this anymore on the beach. 
I am planning an anniversary trip with my husband. I was showing my mom pictures of the hotel and its beach. 
Her response was "Well maybe now you'll go on a diet and watch what you eat and lose some weight."
You know that's exactly what I was going to do but the way she said it really pisses me off. Am I a moron? Do you think I think I'm actually thin? 
I do hate the word and concept of "diet."   My mom has a way of saying it that really grates on me.  "I thought you were DIETING why are you eating that?  Aren't you DIETING? Aren't you ON A DIET?"  It's the same kind of slur as "sugary drinks" (although I've seen lately in news articles the phrase "fizzy drinks" which somehow is also offensive).
I prefer to "change my eating habits" which sounds positive, while "diet" sounds negative painful and awful which it usually is. 
Would I like took be smaller before I go away again? Of course. It's easier to fly the smaller you are, obviously. But I'm not five years old I don't need to be told that I'm fat and need to lose weight. 
Oh my god can you believe that I am fat? I never knew that-- what a revelation. 
Actually I had already decided a few months ago that I want to lose weight to learn to scuba dive. I can learn now--I'm not stupid or incapable and I've conquered my water-driven panic attacks. But at this size, I wouldn't be able to easily rent equipment that would fit so I'd have to buy everything special-order giant-sized to bring with me (and pay to bring that extra bag on the plane every time). And having invested all that money in custom gear to then lose weight would seen like a waste of money because the suit wouldn't fit anymore.  Does that make sense?  It's one thing to buy a bathing suit in a different size, I go through them like kleenex because of the chlorine in the pool.  It's another thing to buy a wet suit which should last me forever as I'll only use it once or twice a year.  Plus the thought of squeezing my flab into a full body skin tight suit...ugh.  There are actually videos online mocking fat women trying to put on wet suits.  No thanks.
(Picture is from a website making fun of fat people so I won't link to it.)

Monday, May 06, 2013

Rosie the Writer

Guess what. I have a published novel.  Email or FB me for the link.  It's not about being fat, but it is very funny.  Available in print, Kindle, and Nook formats.


If you are reading this ANYWHERE but on itsafatlife.blogspot.com, it's stolen; please let me know. wholelottarosieyoung at yahoo dot com. Thank you.
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Pod Person Stalker Update (off topic)

The Pod Person saga (detailed in my last post) has finally come to an end, I believe.
I related how T, my transgendered female friend who used to be A, my husband's male friend, was stalking me and using me and threatening me.  As well as friending all my closest friends on FB.
I blocked her from seeing any of my posts except for public ones.  She started to comment on anything my FRIENDS posted on my wall, or vice versa, since there's no way to block someone from seeing those without unfriending them.  One day last week I screwed up and all my posts from my phone were "friends only" instead of "friends minus this person" and BAM--like, LOL, like, like, LOL on every single post.  I wanted to slam my head into a wall.
She invited me and my husband via Facebook to all 3 days of the wedding.  We declined all of them.  She texted me "the wedding's coming up, are you coming?"  I just sat there and stared at my phone in disbelief.  What is the POINT of making FB events if you are going to ignore people's responses there? 
I had already explained in a non-blocked post on FB that my husband is in the middle of a huge project (and if it fails, his whole department could get fired!) and he's on call 24/7 and his boss actually told him "You no longer have a personal life until this is finished." 
After a pause to take a breath, I reiterated that via text message.  Half a second later, "so you are coming by yourself?"  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GODS!  TAKE A HINT ALREADY.  "No." 
Still, T did not go away.
Friday night was day 1 of the wedding.  My husband came upstairs and said that he got a text from some friends and he was going to the bar around the corner for an hour because he was caught up at work.  I warned him that it was day 1 of the wedding and that's really what he was invited to, the pre-wedding party.  He said, "We're not going to the wedding right?" and I said no. And I finally told him about the stalking and the threats and the using.  He didn't seem surprised at all, he wasn't upset, he didn't say "give her another chance."  
When he got to the bar, he sent me a text saying that it was just a few of his friends, no T, and as long as work didn't call he was going to stay for a few hours and hang out with them.  Shortly after that, he texted me "the wedding party is here, I'm coming home" and he did.  He said he stayed with his little group mostly and didn't talk to T. 
The next day, the actual wedding, for some reason all T's posts were coming through on FB even though I have her set to show nothing (everything's unchecked), raving about the wedding.   I said nothing.  The corner of my screen said that T got married.  I did not send a message.
Yesterday, day 3 of the wedding, I logged onto Facebook and saw the message "You have been unfriended by T."  (I use Social Fixer, it's a great add-on that, among other things, tracks who unfriends you.)
And I felt a great sigh of relief, although it didn't have to come to that.  When I told her I was upset by the drink in my face comment and the lack of payment and that I needed space, she could have given me space, space in which to decide if I actually like her.  Instead she pursued me mercilessly and in a creepy fashion and now I am done with her forever.


If you are reading this ANYWHERE but on itsafatlife.blogspot.com, it's stolen; please let me know. wholelottarosieyoung at yahoo dot com. Thank you.
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