Saturday, March 31, 2012

Mummified fecal bacteria as an obesity cure

People say they are willing to do anything to lose weight (except, of course, eat less and move more).
Now comes the next new thing: ingesting ancient fecal bacteria to replenish our internal flora that has been ruined by antibiotic use and maybe even the chlorine in drinking water.
According to Mother Nature Network, "If repopulation of gut bacteria does prove to be a viable solution to obesity, then it may not be long before doctors are prescribing microbial soups to their patients based on the fecal bacteria...discovered in the intestines of mummies."
Oh yum.  If I don't even eat fish, which to most people is a normal and viable source of food, there is no way I'm eating soup made from ancient poop.  Can't they make a pill or something?  Although still gross, not as bad as poop soup.

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Sunday, March 18, 2012

fast food paradox

I haven't eaten fast food yet in 2012.*
A few years ago, I ate every day at either Burger King or Wendy's.
I was cleaning and I found my last BK receipt (I had taken the free Whopper survey and saved it)--dated 11/18/2011.  
Every once in a while I have a slight urge for a Whopper.  I simply say, "That's right, I don't eat there anymore" and find food elsewhere.
How the hell did I do this?  If you told me to do it, I wouldn't. I'd rebel. I'd go there twice a day.  But somehow, easily, calmly and with no forward planning whatsoever, I removed both restaurants from my life.  Like surgery taking off a mole.  It used to always been there and sometimes you put your finger on the spot to play wiggle-the-mole but it's gone.
So if I can remove those two places, why can't I rewire my brain in other ways? 
I had a reason.  Several reasons.
Burger King changed their fries.  Their fries absolutely suck now.  So I say, "I don't really want to go there and eat those gross fries," and it's perfectly convincing.
Wendy's also changed their fries but honestly I haven't even tried them, just convinced myself they are also gross. I know they have more calories and more fat and more sodium than the other fries (which, frankly, weren't that good).  My local Wendy's is so crappy in general that I've managed to extrapolate it to all Wendy's.  Lacking a receipt, I can't tell you when I went there last.  But the lovely Internet tells me they changed their fries a full year before Burger King--November 2010.
I want to do this for other things.  Convince myself that places and foods are bad for me and even if I crave them have a reminder that there's a perfectly valid reason not to eat there or eat that thing.
I am working on scheduling a return trip to Deb Donze, my awesome therapist.  I have to ask her if there's a way she can, during hypnosis, do a post-hypnotic suggestion that in the near future I'll make such decisions on my own and not remember that I planned it.
Because if I can do it once, with fast food, I should be able to do it again with other things that are just as bad for me, right? 
(image source)
 *I still eat at Five Guys every couple of months, but I haven't found anyone who truly considers that on par with McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, etc.

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Wednesday, March 07, 2012


My grandma died a few weeks ago. My mom had hoped that she would die in her sleep peacefully, but it didn't quite happen that way.  Although my grandma TRIED--she had a stroke, but she was breathing so loudly and weirdly from the brain damage that she woke up my mom (sleeping in the next room), who called 911, so grandma ended up dying the next day in the hospital without ever waking up, totally brain-dead.  She was 94.
I was also really sick that week, so it was a bad few days.  I was too ill to go to the hospital (they don't want visitor spreading germs) but I had to go watch my grandma die.  My stress level was really high.  There's only me and my mom now, she's an only child and so am I; I had to be there to support and help her during all this even though I was so sick I could barely function.  Hospital visits, funeral home, florist, restaurant--we had to go to all those places to plan as she was dying and then make the rounds again once she died.  I had to go shopping to pick out black clothes for my mom (unlike me she never wears black, not even pants, while my closet is always prepared for a funeral, or a Goth rave for that matter).
Now that I've had time to adjust to her absence, I'm remembering how very mean my grandma was to me.  I'm not going to say I didn't love her, she was my grandma.  But she had a big mean streak when it came to me and my weight.  She was manipulative and passive-aggressive.  I am not going to miss those things.  I was taught that eating in front of my grandmother meant eye rolls, her grabbing packages from me and loudly reading the calories, being humiliated in restaurants when she pointed out to the servers how fat I am, and things like that.  A perfect example happened when my grandma was living in senior housing, after she sold her house but before she moved in with my mom.  My grandma gave us all chocolate cake for dessert.  The next time I saw her she said after I left that she "cried and cried" because I'm so fat and I ate the cake.  That she served me.  Passive-aggressive. Mean.  When I was little she would take me to horrible "fat girl" shops and make a huge deal out of what size I wore.  We would go out to eat and she'd tell the server I was only allowed to have a "child's portion" because I was so fat (I was 14, 15, 16 years old!  Children's menus end at age 10 or 12 usually.)  If they wouldn't serve me a child's portion, she would demand a box immediately before I was allowed to take a single bite.  She treated me like I had Prader-Willi syndrome and couldn't be near food without eating everything in sight.  When I went to therapy in 2010, trust me, lots of grandma issues come up.  Who the hell has GRANDMA issues? People have mom issues, dad issues, but not grandparent. 
Maybe with her gone now I won't live in fear about eating in front of her.  Not that I'm going to pig out like a P-W sufferer, but maybe I can make choices without seeing if my grandma's looking at me sideways, rolling her eyes, or sighing loudly.
Of course I still have my mom and she can harsh too (the other day she was mocking my body shape, saying I have a "flat ass").  She wants to move in with us because she doesn't want to live in a whole house (with a big yard) alone.   There's good and bad in that situation.  We have to move anyway (my husband got transferred), and having the money from her house sale would help a lot, and she'd help me clean the house and make the gardens nice, but she can be a pain in the butt (whether the butt is flat or not) and loud (Italian--we can't help it) and she talks with her mouth full which makes my husband insane.  The combined household would have 4 cats and a dog, and my mom wants another cat or two.  That's another whole issue that has to unfold.

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