Wednesday, February 24, 2010

a new treatment for sleep apnea?

I have sleep apnea. I had a CPAP machine. I hated it. It made so much noise my husband couldn't sleep. The mask made horrible lines and folds in my face that didn't fade until afternoonnoon and made me look stupid and malformed. And I slept worse with it, not better. So I totally get it when this article says:

(The) an enormous, unwieldy in-the-vein-of-a-bad-Halloween-costume mask that tends to find its way to such places as the closet, waste basket, or list of inventions to improve before you die.
Yes, I got rid of mine in a few months. Awful.
But maybe CPAP machines will soon be a thing of the past!
ImThera, a privately funded start-up, has developed a tiny neurostimulator surgically implanted near the tongue that is programmed to essentially keep parts of the tongue awake enough to not block one's airway at rest.
Called Targeted Hypoglossal Neurostimulation (THN) Sleep Therapy, the technique consists of a small electrical device implanted under the skin near the lower jaw and along the Hypoglossal (12th cranial) nerve, then connected to a programmable implantable pulse generator (IPG) implanted near the surface of one's upper chest. ....(S)urgery takes less than 45 minutes and heals fully in a matter of days.

If you are reading this ANYWHERE but on, it's stolen; please let me know. wholelottarosieyoung at yahoo dot com. Thank you.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I'm a fatass

I keep thinking that I'm okay because I've lost almost 70 lbs.  That I'm a human again.  But I'm not.  I'm a big fatass.  Maybe I am not a great big fatass anymore, but I am unacceptable.  I was sitting at the end of my bed today and I saw myself reflected in the TV, as if I was on TV, and I said out loud to my friend, "I am a huge fat disgusting person."  She demurred, of course, which is her job as my friend, but she was being nice.  I still weigh close to 300 lbs.  That's a big fat ass.   Maybe I've gotten my pulse down to around 70 and my BP to 110/70 and normalized my blood work but it doesn't matter.  I'm gross, in the original meaning of the word.  
Etymology: Middle English grosse, from Anglo-French & Late Latin; Anglo-French gros large, thick, whole, from Late Latin grossus coarse
I am not okay. It is not okay to be this fat. This is not a moral judgment. I'm not a bad person because I am fat. But it is unhealthy and wrong and I hate it.
Yes, yay that I lost 69 lbs and about 20% of my body weight since last May.  Boo that I'm still almost 300 lbs.  I gotta step it up somehow.

If you are reading this ANYWHERE but on, it's stolen; please let me know. wholelottarosieyoung at yahoo dot com. Thank you.