Saturday, January 30, 2010

failure & lymph edema

I feel like a failure and I hate it.
I've been sick on and off for over a week. Last Thursday (over a week ago) I had to go to Yale and they switched my appointment last-minute to be when I am usually at the pool. So I missed that day. The next day I was sick, and my nose was so stuffed I couldn't breathe, so I skipped the pool. Monday I was still sick. Tuesday I was better but had to wait at home all day for Fed-Ex for a package for hubby. Wednesdays I never go to the pool due to excessive children. So it was over a week--from Tuesday to Thursday--that I didn't go. I used the stair machine at home but not much because I was sick.
What is the result of that? The edema in my left leg is horrible. Huge, red, purple, painful. I had to wear my boots because it snowed and they were so tight they hurt. Worse, it's spreading to my right leg--the ankle is swelling.  I was busy all day yesterday and couldn't put my leg up at all from around 9 a.m. until around 10 p.m.  I managed 50 minutes in the pool but it didn't even touch the swelling.
So today what is my punishment?   In bed, on my face, with my knees bent and my feet up on pillows.  Yeah, I have my laptop and bad disaster movies on SyFy channel, but I'm angry.  I have things to do, things I can't do from bed, lying prone.   I've been trapped here with only 1 break for about 4 hours.  The swelling is down in my right leg and softening in my left, so it's working, but I'm still angry.  I've lost almost 20% of my body weight, I work out at least 6 hours a week (last week was the exception).  My blood tests and other tests are awesome.  And still this leg plagues me.   How could my edema be getting WORSE?  Spreading to my other leg?   What am I still doing wrong?   I feel like I am being punished.  
(The picture is not of my leg, but close enough. It's from the Mayo Clinic)

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Friday, January 15, 2010

does this clutter make my butt look fat? quotes & more

I've finished reading the book that was recommended to me by a kind reader: Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?: An Easy Plan for Losing Weight and Living More and it was very good. I started watching Clean Sweep, the show the author is on. It's fun, but kind of fluffy-light compared to Hoarders, and its silliness is contrived compared to the women of How Clean Is Your House.
The de-cluttering and cleaning of my house is preceding slowly.  We work about 3 hours a day and do a small section of whatever room we are in.    We're guessing we'll be done in August.  No, that's not a joke.   Every day I am tossing about half a garbage bag of random crap--so far old receipts, spoiled food and stuff that I don't care about and has no monetary value to anyone else, along with at least a roll of paper towels that are wet and gunked up with whatever got physically cleaned.  Slow, hard going, emotional.  Old collars from dead pets with all their tags--junk, right, but I want to keep them.  A note from my dad that says nothing of importance, not even signed or addressed to me.  Dried flowers from funerals, obituaries cut from the newspaper.  Tough.
And while I enjoyed reading the Fat Butt book, I think what I need more is a de-cluttering book.  His diet stuff, well, I knew most of it or figured it out on my own.  And it's not like there is a diet or fitness program, it's more psychological in nature.  So I ordered his other book, too:   It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff and hopefully that will help me to get rid of some of my stuff. 
But here are some quotes from the first book I read:

  • "Thin is not the answer to life's problems.  And fat is not life's problem."
  • "It's easy to get fat....All you have to do to be fat in this country is go with the flow.  Eat what the advertisers want you to eat.  Buy what the grocery stores sell you.  Finish what the restaurants put on your plate.  Do what everyone else does for a decade or so and congratulations!  You're fat!"
  • "Food is not some evil, hypnotic force against which we are powerless."
So there are some things for you to think about. 


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Friday, January 08, 2010

Aliens will eat the fatties first!


I actually think this is pretty funny. A gym in England is advertising for new members by suggesting that if they don't lose weight, aliens will eat them. Clever, silly, attention-getting. A lot of fat people are offended.
Mrs Palmer, 45, of Churchill, Somerset, said: ‘People who have a weight problem may also suffer with low self esteem and this advert is not going to help them in any way.The people who came up with this idea and sanctioned the advert need a good, stiff kick up the backside, and if that backside is a rather bony one, then they will feel this all the more.'
I actually believe that it's zombies we fatties need to worry about.  Zombies chase. Fat people usually can't run.  
(screenprint of original)

aliens will eat the fatties first

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

half ton teen: confronting addiction (summary/comments/spoilers)

Half Ton Teen: Confronting Addiction is the third show about Billy Robbins, an enormous teen with an overprotective mother, and also follows up with John Wayne DeBose, the teen whose family didn't come see him in the hospital.  (Link goes to schedule.)
Billy's mother still washes his hair and tells him how to wash himself and helps him.  He is 20 years old and he's not mentally handicapped.  He's spoiled, and she's insanely overprotective and smothering and the worst type of helicopter mom.
The doctor doesn't want to give Billy the bypass (he only had his stomach done before--gastric sleeve) because he's still overeating and hasn't lost weight.  They bring in a child psychologist who says he can't succeed at weight loss living at home and calls his mother's love "pathological."  The bariatric doctor said mentally Billy acts like a "preteen" (his reliance on his mother).  His mother encourages him to eat pizza, bbq, sausage sandwiches, and all kinds of crap.  He weighs 494 and he should weigh under 300 lbs at this point after his gastric sleeve--in 18 months at home he only lost 40 pounds.  FORTY.  After getting a gastric sleeve.    In the hospital, he lost 30 lbs in two weeks. Jesus, I'd check into the hospital if they'd promise me that result. 

His mother asks the doctor, in all sincerity, if she can have "in a jar" the skin and fatty tumor removed from her son's leg.  Not only is that gross, it's creepy.  His mother is almost like a Munchhausen by proxy mom--getting attention by SAYING she is helping her kid but really destroying him.


John Wayne doesn't weigh himself or care, and he eats like he hasn't had a gastric bypass and only lost 60 lbs in a year after his surgery.  I've lost more than that in less than a year on my own--he should have lost 70 more lbs in that time.  So he lost less than half of what he should have.  He skips and cancels appointments and doesn't care that he needs to lose more weight.

18 year old Murphy Springs, a new character in the series is over 600 lbs--he was 382 at age 13 and gained almost 300 lbs in 3 years after that.  His family seems supportive instead of being smothering or absent.  He's on a ventilator after having pneumonia and can't breathe well enough to get moved to the hospital where the other two boys had their surgery.  I won't give away what happens; it's not a happy ending but has some inspiring components.

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it sucks when you go out to eat & the place catches on fire




My friend has wicked allergies/asthma and I have many furry pets. We are working on a project and  have to meet elsewhere than my home so my pets don't trigger a fatal attack.  Today we chose On The Border in Orange, which is not very convenient for me but does have yummy food that is half price in the bar after 3.
As soon as I sat down, I said, "it smells funny in here, like burning tar."  She replied, "they are fixing the roof."
I'd rather smell burning tar than fish, so I didn't complain.
We had our papers spread out and had just ordered our food when the fire alarm went off.  Right above our heads.  Shrilly.  Head splittingly.  The place filled with black smoke that stunk like burning automotive components.  No one was leaving.  No manager or server came over to say if we should run for our lives.  Smoke poured in.  My friend's allergies/asthma kicked in and she started coughing.  I couldn't breathe either.  We gathered our stuff and went outside.  Two servers were holding the inside doors so we held open the outside doors to air out the smoke.  They said the fire department was coming.  Outside, freezing cold.  Inside, lung-killing tarry smoke.   Other people put their coats on and just left--who knows if they were done or had paid. People arriving to eat took one look at the mess and headed back to their cars--I don't blame them! The manager said he canceled the fire department.  The servers closed the doors and went away, leaving us outside.  The alarm still blared.
Now half frozen and still coughing, we went back in.  Our food had been served while we were outside. Outrageous.   We tried to talk and eat but the alarm was horrible.  Finally someone shut it off.  But it still stank of smoke and smoke was visible throughout the restaurant.  The manager came over to apologize.  We absolutely expected our meal to be partially or fully comped--or coupons for something free next visit.  Nothing, not even a free soda.
Apparently, the roofers were heating or burning tar, or something, and it got sucked into the ventilation ducts and the roof was not actually on fire as we had originally assumed.  Or maybe it was and they said it wasn't so we wouldn't all freak out from being in a  burning restaurant.  
I have a splitting headache--whether it's from the alarm or the toxic smoke or what, I don't know, but I am an unhappy camper.  I have to go to Yale on Friday and I was thinking I would go to that OTB after, but no, not happening now. 

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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

too fat for internet dating?

This almost sounds like a joke. But it's not.  And I don't know, or want to know, what a "festive fatty" is or if I am one.  Sounds like a joint smoked at a holiday party.

Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model.
That is a quote from the founder of beautifulpeople.com (and no, they don't get a clickable link-screw them), some kind of online dating service that only works for pretty people.  Ugly people and fat people (presumably the same thing) are booted off.  Voted off, actually, apparently.  
They asked 5,000 users to "reapply" and be re-rated after they gained weight and only a "few hundred" were deemed acceptable to the site and allowed to stay there.
I shouldn't be surprised at this.  Really.  But I am surprised, and saddened, and resigned.
too fat to date online
screenprint of original

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Saturday, January 02, 2010

half ton teen: 3d show coming up

Discovery Health is having a third show about the Half Ton Teen, on January 5. It's called Half-Ton Teen: Confronting Addiction. I'll write about it once it's on.  It sounds bad for Billy: "Once the world's heaviest teenager, Billy Robbins' weight loss efforts have recently stalled and now, he is falling back on old habits. In the third installment of "Half-ton Teen", doctors make a desperate attempt to save Billy from self-destruction.
He needs to be taken from his mom; she's killing him. Every time I watch the first two shows I just yell at his mother.


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