Thursday, June 29, 2006

600 lb woman survives car crash


Okay, even with the picture I have a hard time believing this. My SUV has a sunroof and no way would I fit through it and she weighed twice what I do.
Story (whole thing; it's short)
TOWN N COUNTRY, FL -- A woman is in stable condition after being ejected through the sunroof of her SUV during an accident.

Thirty-seven-year-old Ruth Matthews told paramedics that another vehicle cut her off in traffic, and she took evasive action to avoid a crash. Her Isuzu Amigo rolled over and she was thrown through the sunroof and onto the roadway. Investigators say she was not wearing her seat belt.

Not wearing her seatbelt? if any part of the article made me laugh, it was that stupid, naive line. HOW the HELL could you expect her to wear a seatbelt?

Paramedics initially tried to fly Matthews to Tampa General Hospital, but her weight, estimated at 600 pounds, made it impossible. Emergency crews were able to transport her to St. Joseph’s Hospital, where she is listed in stable condition.

I can see that the car roof is buckled, but HOW did she fit? I can't see the physics of it. I know how big my sunroof is, and it's the same size as the sunroof on my last car (and I know that's the standard size because I had to have the sunroof replaced on my last car--not because I was thrown through it either!) and I wouldn't fit through either of them. I mean, maybe if a velocraptor was chasing me, I would TRY to squeeze through but that would just mean I'd be a stable target for the 'raptor to eat.
A lot of people are busting a gut over this, but I'm not. I think it's amazing that she was out driving a car at 600 lbs. She must be like me, a compensator. Although I knew a guy who weighed 480 and he drove a car and got around. But most people, at 600 lbs, are home in bed immobile.
And I also am not crazy about the fact that her weight was ESTIMATED at 600 lbs. Most people have no clue what fat people weigh. I read a novel once where a woman was described as digustingly fat, she couldn't cross her legs or walk, she repulsed people on sight....and then she lost FIFTY POUNDS and became a super-model. That's either one fat supermodel or one very thin obese person.

I am pretty sure it's me who's the freak

Last night I went back to the gym. Yay. And like a good girl I had slimfast for 2 of my meals.
I was leaving and a woman came into the locker room who had been in the pool. She was very overweight and had swollen legs with sores--what I think of as "diabetes legs" (I wonder if people think I have diabetes? But my legs have no sores.) She was having a lot of trouble putting on her shoes so I helped her. She told me she had diabetes and she is relieved to work out in the pool because she doesn't feel any of her "250 pounds". I can tell you this: I weigh almost 100 lbs more than her and I think I am thinner. I know I have way more mobility. But SHE is the norm, not me.
I saw a show on TLC last weekend about a 350-lb woman who also had diabetes and was on 17 kinds of medication and was so fat she couldn't walk to her mailbox or even to her car without getting out of breath. Every step was a huge struggle, she was red-faced and panting. Of course some insurance company or state had no problems paying her HER surgery. I think she was around 40.
My trainer and I were talking about Alzheimer's. I saw an article about "senior moments" which said that quite a few people who have senior moments really do have Alzheimer's....only they show almost no symptoms. During autopsy their brains reveal advanced progress of the disease yet they are not in nursing homes or on medication. In some cases they are worse than people who died of it. These people have some kind of coping mechanism that lets them function far beyond what they should be able to.
I am not saying I have Alzheimer's. I am saying that I am similar because I too am functioning at a higher level than I should, given my weight & age. I should be studied and coddled! Hey! I'm over here!
Oh, that's right, I'm TOO FAT to be in obesity studies! Grr.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

10 reasons why I am fat

This is from cnn.com
I thought it was going to be a funny article, but it was serious.
"I'd put this in the category of 'calorie distracters' -- 'Let's just do anything to get people to stop worrying about having to eat less and move more,"' said Marion Nestle, a nutrition professor at New York University and frequent food industry critic. "'And let's not say a word to food companies about misleading and manipulative marketing practices, especially those directed toward children."' The list: 1. Inadequate sleep. (Average sleep amounts have fallen, and many studies tie sleep deprivation to weight gain.) 2. Endocrine disruptors, which are substances in some foods that may alter fats in the body. 3. Nice temperatures. (Air conditioning and heating limit calories burned from sweating and shivering.) 4. Fewer people smoking. (Less appetite suppression.) 5. Medicines that cause weight gain. 6. Population changes. (More middle-agers and Hispanics, who have higher obesity rates.) 7. Older birth moms. (That correlates with heavier children). 8. Genetic influences during pregnancy. 9. Darwinian natural selection. (Fat people outsurvive skinny ones). 10. Assortative mating, or "like mating with like," as Allison puts it. Translation: fat people procreating with others of the same body type, gradually skewing the population toward the heavy end.

Let's see which ones apply to ME.
#1. My sleep is better now that I have a new mattress, but it's still not 100%. I sleep better on the new mattress than I did with my CPAP machine, I can tell you that.
#2 Maybe. What are those foods? It doesn't say.
#3 I'm rarely cold due to my 200 lb insulating fat suit and I've never been much of a sweater. I just get overheated and faint.
#4 I never smoked, doesn't apply
#5 Depo-provera. Want to look like me? Go for it.
#6 I'm not Hispanic or middle-aged
#7 My mom was 22 when she had me
#8 I've never been pregnant
#9 I've never procreated and my parents are not obese
#10 See #9

free surgery mexican guy loses 200 lbs

They call him the "half ton mexican man" and he's lost 200 lbs since February.
"I feel better now. I can stretch and move a bit more," Uribe said Monday, flanked by Dr. Barry Sears, creator of the Zone diet, who came to check on his progress.
"Before I would eat 4 eggs, rice, beans and tortillas for breakfast," Uribe said. "Now, I'm learning to eat the right way." .... Still, Uribe said he has just enough energy to sit up and move the sheet that covers his body. His goal is to lose 770 more pounds.
...."The goal is for him to keep losing weight, because if his morbid obesity responds to the diet then there is no need for the surgery. We'll intervene if his medical treatment fails." For the last five years, Uribe has been bedridden, relying on his mother and friends to feed and clean him.
"People think that I can eat a whole cow but it's not just overeating, it's also a hormonal problem," Uribe said. "For now, I'll keep doing the diet and if I get stuck I'll consider the surgery."
Good for him for trying to do it the right way first. I thought it was going to be about what a success his surgery was.
I wonder if he's actually ON the Zone diet or if the doctor is just trying to get free publicity. The latter, I suppose.

losing weight without surgery

A faithful reader asked me this:
I'd like to ask a question, and I sincerely mean no disrespect. I just want to ask this question to someone else who is in this situation.... have a coworker who lost more than 100 pounds over a year or so. I asked her if she had surgery, or if it was just diet & exercise. Her answer: no surgery - it was regular visits to the gym plus limiting herself to 1500 calories a day. ... My question is... What percentage of obese people can reach their target weight through 1500cals + exercise, assuming they have the determination & self-discipline to stick with the program?
I know the percentage is dismal. Here's what Wikipedia has to say:
The mainstay of treatment for obesity is an energy-limited diet and increased exercise. In studies, diet and exercise programs have consistently produced an average weight loss of approximately 8% of total body mass on average (excluding study drop-outs). While not all dieters will be satisfied with this outcome, studies have shown that a loss of as little as 5% of body mass can create enormous health benefits.
A more intractable therapeutic problem appears to be weight loss maintenance. Of dieters who manage to lose 10% or more of their body mass in studies, 80-95% will regain that weight within two to five years. It appears that the homeostatic mechanisms regulating body weight are very robust..., and vigorously defend against weight loss.
I can tell you that I lost 35% of my body weight in my senior year of high school and in my sophomore year of college started to gain it back even though I was working out MORE. So it lasted about 18 months.
My recent weight loss was about 10% (not far from their 8%) but due to inactivity over my leg surgery I know I've gained some back already.
I found this article on WebMD about losing 100+lbs:
When Lisa Goetze tipped the scales at 550 pounds, she wanted to put her fingers in her ears and scream "Stop!" every time a well-meaning friend advised her to start exercising....No one understood that when you are very large, even holding up your body for a three-minute shower is a painful, and sometimes nearly impossible, feat. Walking around the block, it's just impossible. ...You can't just toss a very overweight person the latest diet book or piece of exercise equipment and expect it to work. There is a whole different mindset to large-scale weight loss, and a whole different approach becomes necessary(.)
The article then offers steps:

  1. Seek (Medical) Supervision
  2. Join a Support Group
  3. Incorporate Movement into Your Life
  4. Discover Weight Training
  5. Focus on how far you've come
  6. Keep your Goals Realistic
  7. Ditch the Dieting Mindset
  8. Consider Medication
  9. Don't Rule out Weightloss surgery
For me, that last one kind of pissed me off. I was looking for an article about people who want to lose weight WITHOUT surgery, and it did open with a woman who went down to size 14 from over 500 lbs...but she did it with surgery. What if surgery IS NOT an option?!
It's bullshit, plain & simple, that every article about the morbidly obese trumpets surgery as the "only option" but insurance companies won't pay for it. I've said it before. If I smoke a pack a day of cigarettes and I get lung cancer, insurance pays for the treatment. I wouldn't have to stop smoking first or hand in documentation of how I tried to stop smoking 352 times and failed.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

weight loss pill summary article

This is a nice little summary I just found. It explains all the OTC diet drugs and why they don't work:

  • Bitter orange--"Decreases appetite"--Touted as an "ephedra substitute" but may cause health problems similar to those of ephedra--Long-term effects unknown
  • Chitosan--"Blocks the absorption of dietary fat"--Relatively safe, but unlikely to cause weight loss. Can cause constipation, bloating and other gastrointestinal complaints. Long-term effects unknown
  • Chromium--"Reduces body fat and builds muscle"--Relatively safe, but unlikely to cause weight loss. Long-term effects unknown.
  • Conjugated linoleic acid (CLA)--"Reduces body fat, decreases appetite and builds muscle"--Might decrease body fat and increase muscle, but isn't likely to reduce total body weight.Can cause diarrhea, indigestion and other gastrointestinal problems.
  • Country mallow (heartleaf)--"Decreases appetite and increases the number of calories burned"--Contains ephedra, which is dangerous. Likely unsafe and should be avoided.
  • Ephedra--"Decreases appetite"--Can cause high blood pressure, heart rate irregularities, sleeplessness, seizures, heart attacks, strokes and even death. Banned from the marketplace because of safety concerns, but may still be legally sold as a tea. Despite the ban, many ephedra products still sold on the Internet
  • Green tea extract--"Increases calorie and fat metabolism and decreases appetite"--Limited evidence to support the claim. Can cause vomiting, bloating, indigestion and diarrhea. May contain a large amount of caffeine
  • Guar gum--"Blocks the absorption of dietary fat and increases the feeling of fullness, which leads to decreased calorie intake"--Relatively safe, but unlikely to cause weight loss. Can cause diarrhea, flatulence and other gastrointestinal problems.
  • Hoodia--"Decreases appetite"--No conclusive evidence to support the claim

last day in bandages....

Thank the gods.
I can't keep the stupid things up. They fall. I go into the bathroom, fix them, and then as I walk back to work they fall again.
Tomorrow I work out again.

Monday, June 26, 2006

another bariatric surgery show

This weekend I saw yet another show on someone who got bariatric surgery.
This woman weighed LESS than I did last year and she was on 17 kinds of medication and she couldn't walk to her car.
Am I some kind of super-healthy freak? With my rotund body, normal B/P & sugar, and low cholesterol? I don't even take vitamins anymore--I've read in too many places that mostly they are just pooped and peed out anyway.

leg bandages

I don't know if I can make it clear to you what a hassle these leg bandages are.
First off, there's 3 ace bandages and four tape bandages. That's 7 I have to deal with.
The four tape bandages pull and pinch. They get caught in my underwear when I have to use the bathroom.
The ace bandages creep and sag and fall down. Whenever I walk.
So here's how it works. I leave the tape bandages on all the time, in spite of the pinching.
I wrap my knee first with a 4" ace bandage. (There's 2 injection sites in the fold of my knee. Try keeping an Ace bandage tight there. I tried buying a "one size fits all" knee wrap which was supposed to be 21" around, yeah, whatever, it's barely 15" and it doesn't stretch). I start with a 6" piece of packing tape. I secure the beginning of the bandage to the inside of my calf and wrap from there. And since I have to wear pants over this, I can't wear the little Ace clippies (pants pull them out), I have to use safety pins which don't work that great.
Then I have to wrap my thigh with a 6" ace bandage. There are injection sites on the front of my thigh and the sides, up on my hip almost and one on the back. The only site I can keep the ace bandage over is the one on the front. The other 3 are too high up. Even if I start the ace bandage as high as it can go between my legs and tape it there securely, and then wrap up over the injections a couple of times and then wrap along the center of my thigh, as soon as I take a step, the outside upper thigh section of the bandage falls, the whole thing loosens and in a few steps that bandage is flapping around my knees.
And then my ankle started to hurt. I couldn't figure out why and then I realized that the two ace bandages were pushing the fluid down into my ankle. So I end up my wrap session with another 6" ace bandage from ankle to knee. This one needs no tape, and it's velcro. It's the cheesy one I got from the doctor. I don't have a problem keeping THAT one on and by the end of the day all the fluid has been squeezed from my ankle and it looks like a plucked chicken leg, only lumpier. My leg is so sensitive to pressure that if I lay on my bed when there's no bottom sheet, I get round marks which look like ring-worm from the coils.
I don't care that my leg is covered with little maroon bruises. I just don't want it to hurt anymore. I want to be able to work out again. I'm turning into such a slug, I know I'm eating too much, I'm so depressed, it's such a downward spiral.
I'm meeting my trainer on Wednesday at the gym. I can't wait.

Friday, June 23, 2006

leg procedure

It wasn't technically surgery. I wasn't unconscious or anything. And I wasn't cut.
So today I have 7 little cotton ball bandages in four places on my left leg. On top of them are two 6" Ace bandages from mid-calf to hip. I decided at the last minute NOT to get any done on my right leg; to stick with the left and I'm so glad. I would have had to call into work if both my legs were wrapped like this.
My parents picked me up at work at 3:45 and took me to the hospital. Turns out they were familiar with this surgeon; he's worked on both of them in the past. I got taken in at 4:15 and sat in the room alone for half an hour with no book and nothing to do (not even old magazines to read). My dad isn't well and I was kinda annoyed at having to leave him sitting there for so long. But my mom doesn't like to leave him home alone for long periods of time either. They didn't start the procedure until almost 5:00 and I wasn't out of there until 5:45.
The injections themselves--the needle--didn't hurt that much but what he injected into me--AHH. It was like acid or fire or stinging ants. I might have seven mini bandages but he stuck me more than 7 times. It burned and burned and burned. This morning the fire has died down but it's still really uncomfortable.
The day before I'd gone to Walmart and bought a nice adjustable knee wrap because from past experience wrapping my leg for the edema, Ace bandages just don't work over the knee. I've always wanted a knee wrap; when I go to places where I know I'll be on my feet for a long time I like to wrap my leg (Because it feels better and because it's easier for me to ask to borrow a chair if I'm wrapped. If I'm just fat, people will say no thinking I'm lazy. But if I'm wearing capris and an ace bandage, people are much nicer.)
First the nurse, who coincidentally has the same name as me (my real name), wouldn't use the knee wrap. I said "it's a compression bandage, the doctor said I needed to compress it". She goes with the package and finds the doctor and comes back to say he approved it. We wrestle the wrap out of the package....and it doesn't fit. So much for "one size fits all." It didn't even go halfway around my knee. And it was $15. So she takes their cheesy bandage (not an Ace, it's thinner and very cheap looking) and wraps it from mid-calf to mid thigh and pronounces it finished, leaving two injection spots uncovered. She was annoyed when I pointed that out, annoyed that I expected her to wrap my leg. Then she wrapped my upper thigh in my good ace-brand elastic bandage.
The big problem with walking is the wad of cotton against the back of my knees combined with the ace bandage holding the knee stiff. That's why I wanted to knee bandage, because it doesn't bunch up behind the knee and allows freer movement when walking.
I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't bend my left leg because of the cotton (the bandages were off) and no matter how I laid I was putting pressure on an injection site, all of which were burning.
Right now my whole foot is asleep because of the odd angle I have to sit in the chair so my thigh doesn't touch the arm.
TGIF. I won't be doing much of ANYTHING this weekend.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Let's pick on Starbucks now

I don't like coffee. I don't drink coffee. I don't think I've been in a Starbucks more than 4 or 5 times in my whole life. I don't understand paying more for a cup of coffee than a whole meal at a fast-food restaurant.
And now apparently Starbucks makes you fat. Well it didn't make ME fat. But they can join the club of places getting blamed for obesity.
Starbucks' drinks called fatty by group
Center for Science in the Public Interest says coffee chain's high-calorie, high-fat products increase risk of obesity and heart disease.
Starbucks may be next on the target list of a consumer-health group that this week sued...KFC...for frying foods in oils high in harmful trans fat.
The Center for Science in the Public Interest said it is planning to campaign against the global cafe chain because of the increased risk of obesity, heart disease and cancer associated with high-calorie, high-fat products it sells.
....The union contends that Starbucks staff gain weight when they work at the chain. They are offered unlimited beverages and leftover pastries for free during their shifts.
A 20-ounce Venti banana mocha Frappuccino with whipped cream contains 720 calories and 11 grams of saturated fat, and a banana cream crunch bar weighs in at 630 calories and 25 grams of saturated fat. By comparison, a McDonald's Big Mac has 560 calories and 11 grams of saturated fat.
So a COFFEE, which has ZERO nutrients, has more fat and calories than a BIG MAC which at least has some protein and carbs and even vegetables (lettuce, pickles) and calcium (cheese)!?
And I'd guess that you'd have a coffee AND one of those crunch bars as a SNACK, right? That's a day's worth of calories. In snack form!
Hey, that should be Starbucks' new slogan.
Get a day's worth of calories in one snack! The Once-A-Day calorie Pack! (and then they could list all their stupid flavors).

Another new diet drug

Back to "Leptin" (basis of the $153-a-bottle Leptoprin crap)
But maybe this will work, who knows. It would be nice to take a pill and lose 12% of my body weight just like that. I wonder how many times it works? And does the weight stay off?
Lose weight without exercise
America's getting fatter but this San Diego biotech might have an answer.
Tests on the pramlintide-leptin combo are still in their early stages, with human trials yet to begin. But the biotech (firm Amylin)... has good reason to get excited: corpulent rats lost 12 percent of their body weight in pramlintide-leptin tests. If those results are repeated in humans, then a 300-pound man could lose 36 pounds just by taking drugs. ... Pramlintide, when taken alone by humans, triggered more than 3 percent weight loss in experiments, while leptin alone did nothing at all.....At this point, even if the drug works - and we're not certain it will - it will probably not be launched until the next decade....
Yeah, and by then I'll be dead or have given up or lost the weight some other way.
I hate the headline. That's why I included it. "Lose weight without exercise" that's just another bubble which will burst. How much do you lose on that drug combined with diet and exercise? There's doing it the right way, with help, and there's expecting a fairy godmother to wave a wand and you're magically thin(er).
And so many questions still unanswered. How long does it take to lose the weight? Does it stay off or come back? What are the side effects--because there are some. Rats can't tell you if they have headaches or feel stressed.

did this happen or not?

I'm a little behind in my obesity-news blogging. I don't know if this happened or not.
AMA to target unhealthy diets
U.S. doctors expected to call for ...soft-drink taxes

A ... resolution supports taxes on sugary soft drinks -- likely at the state and local level -- despite industry opposition. It calls for the revenue to go for public health programs to combat obesity, which has been labeled an epidemic by U.S. health authorities.
A soft-drink tax might also curb consumption somewhat, the AMA said, as with levies on alcohol and cigarettes.

Sure, go on and believe that. Would it be on diet soda as well? Or just soda with actual sugar? I'd pay a tax for my occasional ginger-ale binge or when I'm stomach-sick. But not for my diet soda--that's not a caloric fat-causing food no matter what the conspiracy theory people say.

I haven't been able to find a follow-up on this so I don't know if this is going to happen or not.

why is this okay?

Someone just emailed me this picture as a joke. Someone who knows me in the flesh and knows I'm fat. Why is this okay?
I was nice enough to block out her face but it didn't come to me that way. Did she pose for this? I wouldn't. (Well, for enough money I would.)
I'm about as fat as she is, with similar boobs and giant arms. I hope I don't look like that when I drive. Of course I wouldn't be out in public in something sleeveless either.
Do the people who laugh at this picture consider how hard it is to have no throat because your boobs are so big? How difficult it is to drive with your arms at full stretch so your belly and boobs fit behind the wheel?
What if this was a picture of a handicapped person in a wheelchair with packages heaped on her lap and the caption "who needs a shopping cart?" Would that be funny? Of course not.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

actual photos of me / leg abuse

Yup, these photos will totally reveal my identity...not.
I was bad a few days ago. I went to a show and spent over 2 hours hopping and dancing and my leg is amazingly large and painful. While I was at it, I wanted some before and after pics of my lovely popped-out vein.
So here's the vein in all it's dark purple popped out glory: It's the very dark thing to the left. The rest is just regular varicose vein.
Popped out varicose vein
You're jealous, aren't you? And it's not even what the vein LOOKS like...it's the fact that it HURTS. I'm such a wimp.
So here's my famous lymph edema. The white area of my calf is from the flash, not a flesh color.
lymph edema
It's not that my right leg is small and petite. It's the comparasion. Depending on where you measure, the left leg is 2-3" bigger around. Nice, huh?
I can SMELL your jealousy from here.
Too bad! That leg is ALL MINE. You can't have it.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

why does the stairwell smell of play-doh?

I noticed it last week and I thought, hmm, strange, the stairway smells like Play-doh.
But it's smelled that way for days. And there's no children in this building (it's an office building) and certainly no Play-doh that I can see in the stairwell.
I guess it will remain a mystery.
In 2 days I get my leg done. It hurts all the time. I can't wait.

about me, or not

I am extremely truthful on this site. If Stephen Colbert of the Colbert report knew of me, he would say I embody his principle of "truthiness".
However, when I first started this blog, I had a dilemma. If I truly wanted to be 100% honest about the things that happened to me, and use my own name, that would reduce the honesty because then I'd constantly worry that so-and-so would read this and be hurt or upset at what I had said.
On the other hand, by concealing my identity, I could be more accurate with the subject, which is being fat and what it's like.
So it seemed like a no-win situation as far as the truth goes. Either way something was going to have to give.
And what gave was my "real" identity.
If someone knows me and stumbles on this blog, they will recognize me. I'm not so well camouflaged as that. However I hope that I am camouflaged enough that no one could use this blog to search for my real identity.
Yes, I'm out there on the web in another guise.
So that's why I gloss over details like what kind of pet I had which died. What matters is that I had a pet and she died, not what she was or what her name was. What matters is how her death impacts my life and my fat and my eating habits.
A lot of things happen to me that never make it onto this blog.
When I answer questions on Yahoo answers, it's the same thing.
I don't lie outright, but I do dance around the truth. But everything I say happened to me has happened to me. If I say it happened to my sister, well maybe it really happened to my best friend or my best friend's sister, or vice versa, or maybe it was my grandmother and not my friend's grandmother.
My ex therapist and my current therapist know about this blog and also know who I really am. I also have one friend who knows, only because that friend also has a secret web-only identity and shared it with me. And that friend is rarely mentioned here. My husband knows I have a "fat blog" but not the URL or what name I write it under. I probably should tell him in case anything ever happens to me so he could tell all of you.
I really am a very fat woman in her 30's who lives in Connecticut. My thoughts and feelings are all my own.
But don't ask me for minute details of my life. I'm not going to tell you my birthday (although it may have just passed, or maybe it's coming up, or maybe it's today) or anything about my rising sign or moon sign or when I was born in the Chinese calendar. I won't tell you my hair or eye color or if my avatar looks anything like me. Because that's not what this blog is about. It's about being FAT and what it feels like, what I think about it.
And yeah, that big headed Burger King character is really scary, as scary as an ompa-loompa. If I woke up with the Burger King in my bed I would run screaming, not eat a breakfast sandwich with him and then bounce on the bed.
The "big buckin' chicken" commercials also bother me. And of course the KFC shove all your food in a bowl with gravy and cheese on top. Plus I hate that damn song they use as their theme song now. Some southern country rock piece of garbage.

Monday, June 19, 2006

an answer of sorts, from Jackie's production company

Hey Rosie -
I would just like to assure you that Jackie does in fact receive the emails she's sent. However, with the frequent re-airing of her shows, she's been receiving so many, I'm afraid she's having difficulty keeping up. Nevertheless, she so appreciates everyone's thoughts, encouragement, and kind words.

I don't know if you've seen her video update on her show page as of yet, but you can access it at 627 Lb Woman: Jackie's Story at the Advanced Medical Productions website. The video is located next to her email address halfway down the page.

Thanks for following and discussing her story. Her's is the kind of response we always hope to initiate when we make a show.

Sincerely,
Rob Hutchison
Advanced Medical Productions

My girl, again

To the person who said if my girl was spayed she wouldn't have died...
First off, I was looking for a retired breeder to adopt (many breeder animals get put down because no one wants an older animal, everyone wants a cute little baby--it's not much different from getting a retired greyhound).
Second off, this was not a cat or dog. Some types of pets can't be neutered. My mother recently adopted a older, used dog from a shelter and she had him fixed immediately. I know about getting animals fixed. I have lots of pets and everything that could be fixed has been.

How many calories in that pizza?

I have no clue how many calories are in pizza. Why does a frozen pizza have nutritional facts and a restaurant pizza have nothing to guide our choices?
Can you imagine if a pizza menu said (and I am MAKING UP THESE NUMBERS)

  • Medium Pizza with sauce: 8 slices, 100 calories/slice
  • add cheese: 100 calories/slice
  • add extra cheese: 150 calories/slice
  • add peppers: 20 calories/slice
  • add pepperoni: 100 calories/slice
Would that make a difference in what you order? Or if they had the carbs and fat content?

This article suggests it would.
Those heaping portions at restaurants -- and doggie bags for the leftovers -- may be a thing of the past, if health officials get their way.
What is wrong with a doggie bag? At the price they charge for a meal at most restaurants, I damn well better get enough food for 2 meals.
....Americans now consume fully one-third of their daily intake of calories outside the home. And as of 2000, the average American took in 300 more calories a day than was the case 15 years earlier...
The report encourages restaurants to shift the emphasis of their marketing to lower-calorie choices, and include more such options on menus. In addition, restaurants could jigger portion sizes and the variety of foods available in mixed dishes to cut calories.
Bundling meals with more fruits and vegetables also could help. And letting consumers know how many calories are contained in a meal also could guide the choices they make, according to the report.
..."OK, I am going to eat junk food regardless, but let me eat the junk food that's going to cause me less damage...A lot of times, presented with information, you will make a better choice."...."If companies don't tell them, people have no way of knowing how many calories they are being served at restaurants. And chances are, they are being served a lot more than they realize."
....The report notes that the laboratory work needed to calculate the calorie content of a menu item can cost $100, or anywhere from $11,500 to $46,000 to analyze an entire menu. That cost makes it unfeasible for restaurants, especially when menus can change daily.
Instead, restaurants increasingly are offering varied portion sizes, foods made with whole grains, more diet drinks and entree salads to fit the dietary needs of customers.... Still, they can't make people eat what they won't order.
Exactly. If a restaurant stops serving food I like, I won't switch WHAT I eat. I'll switch WHERE I eat.
But I do agree that I might temper my choice based on a calorie or other analysis.
I don't really understand the $100 per item thing to anaylse the food, however.
Let's talk about pizza, which I know how to make from scratch. Do I have to pay some lab $100 to figure out what's in my pizza?
In the dough, I put flour, water, yeast, salt and olive oil. This makes 2 pizzas which we cut into 6 slices each. On top, I put jarred sauce, cheese, veggies and meat.
I'm going to use this database to do this.
  • Flour: 455 calories/cup
  • Water: water has nothing in it
  • Yeast: 24 calories per packet
  • Salt: no calories
  • Olive Oil: 40 calories/teaspoon
  • Sauce 70 calories/cup
  • Green Peppers, fresh: 30 calories/cup
  • Sausage: 286 calories/link
  • Pepperoni:140 calories/ounce
  • Garlic: 4 calories/clove
  • Broccoli: 50 calories/cup
  • Cheese: 567 calories/pkg (bistro blend) 730 calories/pkg (6 cheese italian) 726/pkg (pizza double cheese) average 674
Okay, 2 pizzas with sauce are 2000 calories. That's 1000 per pizza or 166 per slice, without toppings. Not so far off from my guess.
I put sausage and peppers and cheese on mine. Add about 1200 calories per pizza for that, and that puts my pizza at 2200 calories for 6 slices. Or 366 per slice.
My husband puts sausage, pepperoni, garlic, peppers and broccoli on his. That adds about 1500 calories, or 2500 calories for his whole pizza-- 416 calories per slice.
That was very educational for me. I should use way less cheese. I had no idea how many calories were in cheese.

My point is, that didn't cost $100. It took about 15 minutes to do. I'm sure it's not PERFECT, but it's better than not knowing anything at all.


Ronald McDonald, yoga guru

Is McDonald's genuinely trying to offer more healthy fare or just caving in and and APPEARING to?
Imagine Ronald McDonald munching on soybeans or teaching yoga.
It's not as far-fetched as it sounds. The latest addition to McDonald's (Research) menu is an Asian salad made of orange-glazed chicken, snow peas, red peppers, mandarin oranges, almonds and green soybeans known as edamame. (I love Edamame--the only thing I eat at the sushi restaurant) People who buy the salad as part of a "Go Active! Happy Meal" for adults are given one of four 15-minute exercise DVDS, including one that teaches yoga. .... First of all, various salads, chicken sandwiches, sliced apples and yogurt parfaits have been added to the McDonald's menu to give more options to customers, particularly health-conscious women. Mothers who bring their children to Mickey D's used to complain that there was nothing on the menu that they wanted to eat. ....All of this delivers the message that obesity is not caused by "junk food," two words you'll never hear spoken at company headquarters in Oak Brook, Illionois. "We're proud of all of our food," a spokesman told me.
Still, McDonald's has to be concerned about its reputation, in the wake of the independent movie "Supersize Me" and the best-selling book "Fast Food Nation," which has just been adapted into a children's book and will be fictionalized for a movie coming out this fall.

Fast food nation as a movie!? I can't wait! I'll have to look for more info on THAT!

The article goes on:
By contrast, today's premium salads and chicken sandwiches are selling well, according to the company. Although it won't release specific sales figures, McDonald's says it sold 80 million pounds of spring mix for its premium salads and 54 million pounds of apples last year.
Of course, the company sells even more fatty, heart-clogging hamburgers and French fries, many packaged with plastic toys and aimed at children. Critics also note that some of the salads, when ordered with crispy chicken and slathered with dressing, do not exactly qualify as slimming. ... Meanwhile, America's obesity epidemic is getting worse. A recent CDC study reports that 19 percent of children ages 6 to 11 are overweight.
But how much can we ask one company to do about a big social problem? (No pun intended.) By offering healthy choices, providing nutritional data and encouraging customers to get active, McDonald's is stepping up. It's no more the cause of the obesity epidemic than is Ben & Jerry's or Starbucks' Frappuccinos.

Which is what I've been saying. I might eat at Burger King because it's cheap and easily available but I don't blame them.
And you know what? It's not up the The Burger King or Ronald McDonald to teach us yoga. We all know yoga exists. We all know salads exist. We all know that the secret to losing weight is that you eat less and move more.
I was at Wendy's this weekend and guess what? They changed their sizes around. Now a smaller size drink and fries comes standard with their value meals...but they didn't lower the price. Do I need to even SAY that's wrong?

making money off the obese

I don't really have a problem with people making money off my fat. I do have special needs. I just resent it that the same people who make money off the obese still don't LIKE us.
Fat America: A big opportunity
Overweight Americans have become our fastest-growing consumer segment.... To entrepreneurs, it's a market of potentially immense proportions.....There is no polite way to say this: Americans are fat, and they're getting fatter. More than 60 million Americans are obese, up from 23 million in 1980. Another 28 million are expected to join their ranks by 2013.....The opportunities, in short, seem about as unlimited and surefire as these things get. "I just don't see how I can lose," Barry says. "If we know anything about medical history, once you get past a certain weight, you're probably not going to lose it. You'll be my customer for life."
How depressing. Or is that just me, because I am so depressed? The article also talks about a guy who made a million dollars selling seatbelt extenders...
Several years ago, as Barry boarded a plane in Boston bound for San Francisco, he heard flight attendants discussing how they would handle an especially sensitive problem with seating. At 6-foot-1 and 365 pounds, the stout Barry and several other heavyset passengers needed seatbelt extenders—standard equipment on most airplanes to accommodate larger customers.
But there weren't enough to go around, and Barry overheard the humiliating options being considered: They might ask the bigger passengers to squeeze into a standard belt, or, if they couldn't, boot them off the flight.
Yes, you read that correctly. BOOT THEM OFF THE FLIGHT FOR BEING TOO FAT.
You might remember that my goal is to fit into an airline seat without an extender. I'm pretty sure that will happen when I fly in a few weeks, but I am a little worried after having taken a month off working out because of the pain in my veins. That's getting taken care of in a couple of days and then I will be back in the pool.

my girl

She had an ovarian tumor. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't the person's fault who sold her to me. It was god.
That doesn't stop my tears. I opened my heart to a "used" animal, to give her a good home full of love and cuddling and friends, and she died in less than a month. I feel so cheated.

production company for "we lost 800 lbs"

I never heard back from Jackie after using this link and now that the new show aired I'm guessing I never will. But go ahead and try it.
This is the original show's link
The follow-up show's link
Robin's first show's link
The shows each have discussion pages as well.

a real update on Jackie the 627 lb woman

I got a heads-up from one of my loyal readers, Rebecca, that a show would be on about 2 women who lost 800 lbs, and that one of them was named Jackie, and sure enough it was the 627 lb Jackie...now at 227 lbs.
I gave away the ending of the show but you could have figured it out from the title: "We Lost 800 Pounds"
The discovery channel blurb says "The stories of two amazing women, Jackie Finley & Robin Moran, who both experience a significant weight loss. Jackie dropped 400 pounds as a result of bariatric surgery. Robin has lost 400 pounds on her own, without surgery."
Next showings: June 25 4 p.m., July 30 10 p.m. and July 31 1 a.m.
So now at least we know her last name and that will help me search for more information on her.
Our brave Jackie lost her 400 lbs in about 18 months. That's more than I weight, btw. However, she was extremely ill, as we knew from the end of the last program, and although she ends up at a respectable 227 lbs, frankly she looks awful. She lost hair from malnutrition, she had an episode of brain damage, her skin is hanging like she's wearing flesh colored stockings which are several sizes too large--the only thing with real animation is her eyes. Even at that relatively low weight she seemed to be having problems walking and moving. Since her starting weight of 627 was in August 2004, 18 months takes us to the end of last year so the program seems pretty up-to-date. She also got her panniculus cut off (it weighed 36 lbs!) and had her bypass revised so she wouldn't be so sick all the time.
The other woman featured was Robin, who I thought I blogged, but I couldn't find it off hand. She has lymph edema in her leg except that her leg weighs 200 lbs. She weighed 787. She's in her early 40's so she's not much older than me. She moved herself into the Andover Village Retirement Community (where a lot of these obese shows are at least partially filmed--I wonder if they finance the films somehow?) and lost 400 lbs there, without weight-loss surgery. They showed her "debulking" surgery again--the flensing--she was the one whose leg was so big she was walking on the swollen flesh. I think at one point she said she'd had something like 80 lbs of tissue taken off that leg.
Right before that show was on, Discovery health showed another new program called "750 Pound Man" about a guy named John Kietz who hadn't left his bed for 7 years except to be taken out of the house on a whale sling to visit the doctor. He actually weighed 759.4. They never mentioned him losing any weight. He was sent to Andover also, where he made friends with another guy, a singer, whose name I didn't write down because I didn't realize he would be so intregral to the show.
My understanding of Andover was that they had a program of exercise and diet to help those who are so obese they literally can't move anymore. They called John a prisoner of his body and he was. He couldn't roll over or put on a shirt. His body was covered in baby powder and bruises and bedsores. Yet apparently the facility allowed him to bring in whatever food he wanted and eat it. The nurses were talking about some little debbie binge he went on and the head woman went and confronted him and started reading labels to him and he got very angry saying he could "manage" his snacks. Yes, he managed them right up to 750 pounds.
I don't know how long he was in the facility but he ended up dying there from a septic blood infection. He had been separated from his wife and sister (who lived with him and cared for him) and I think part of it was that he missed them so much. They seemed very poor and couldn't make it to Ohio to see him even when he was dying. The reason he had to go there in the first place was because they got evicted from their apartment and couldn't find another one he could fit in.
His Discover blurb: "Meet John Keitz. He has not left his bed in seven years because his legs simply cannot handle the weight of his massive body. He is severely, morbidly obese. Follow his journey as he tries to lose the weight that is slowly robbing him of his life."
Next showing: June 25 3 p.m.


But one thing I've noticed watching all these shows. The women who are very overweight seem so much stronger. Robin Moran (about the same age as John) weighed more than John plus she had the edema to deal with and yet she lost weight and was walking around. Jackie weighed almost as much and she too lost the weight, and at 687 lbs she still could walk with her walker--and she was much older. Do men just give up?
I've said before that people can't believe that I can walk. If I was a man would I be bedridden already? I think once you take to your bed it's all over. John said he was cooking dinner and his knees gave out and that was it. Did he ever see a doctor? If he was up walking and standing at that point he could have lost weight and not gotten bedridden. Or so I believe.

Friday, June 16, 2006

bye bye new girl :(

My new girl, my new pet, died this morning. I have no idea what happened. I noticed she hadn't eaten much yesterday and she seemed lethargic so I called the vet and they said bring her in and she died on the way. I saw the light in her eyes go out. I never saw anyone die before. I only had her 3 weeks. I am heartbroken. She had a full checkup at the vet only a week ago and was pronounced fine.
I am not going to try for another one. My other two pets will just have to be friends without a third one as a buffer. I can't take this. I feel awful. I am just crying and crying. I feel like I killed her by taking her from her other home. But then again she was a beloved pet here, spoiled and played with, while where she came from she was just breeding stock that became worthless for being too old.
I'll probably be quiet for a few days. I can't be funny, not even about my fat. Sorry.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

you would tell me if I smelled bad, right?

I'm so paranoid. I always think I smell bad. In reality, I probably don't--I shower every day and no one ever tells me I smell bad. My nose is really sensitive though. If someone else has a nose like mine wouldn't they smell me if I can? Or am I hyper-sensitive because it's ME? Shouldn't it be that I CAN'T smell myself? Argh!!
I know there really are people who smell bad. I used to know a girl in grade school who always smelled like poop. She told me it was because she had to change the cat box but I think she pooped her pants because it was really strong sometimes. And some people always smell of armpits--I went to school with two guys from Portugal and they both smelled bad all the time, but they didn't LOOK dirty. I had a very overweight neighbor who also always smelled of armpits. God, please don't tell me I'm now someone's overweight smelly neighbor. With a hairy chin mole too.

food poisoning

I'll tell you this, my entry on how I feel after I eat Burger King has gotten more comments than any post, ever.
But this isn't that kind of feeling. This is food poisoning. I had it before. My stomach starts to feel like it's filled with concrete as the food fails to digest. The concrete feeling intensifies and spreads into my intestines, making my abdomen and lower back hurt. I've learned that drinking a lot of water as soon as I realize what's going on helps some, so at 3:22 last night I was up guzzling Poland Spring. I had the swallowing wet mouth feeling of pre-vomiting, even one small belly heave, but nothing came out--either end. I know when it does it will be explosive. The question is, do I go to work and wait for the explosion there? Or stay home? There is always the chance nothing will happen and I hate to lose a day's pay.
My husband and I shared food last night and he says he feels fine. I also shared food with a friend of mine so I'm going to call her and see how she is. The only thing on my plate I didn't share was the bun to my burger and my fries. But my friend also had a burger with the same type of bun and fries. That's what I get for ordering a hamburger I guess but sometimes I want to eat some beef and I don't like steak.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Elimination diets and meanderings

If I want to fail at a diet, all I have to do is choose one which includes the words "always" or "never" or "only".
As in "never eat"
As in "always eat"
As in "only eat"
I have enough personal OCD issues around food without buying a diet book, CD or program which introduces more. If you read far enough back in this blog you'll see that when my old ND put me on the Blood Type diet combined with what she thought I was allergic to, I ended up with green beans as a source of food. Oh, and water.
One of my biggest problems is that I eat almost no variety of food. On my last visit to my therapist, she pulled out a diet book and started listing the "acceptable" foods, asking me which ones I ate. After a monotonous few minutes of me saying "no" or qualifying my answers, she saw the problem and put the book down. With my few yes answers, she couldn't even build me one day's menu.
My previous therapist tried too hard to get me "off" foods--one of the reasons I don't see her anymore, plus she had a lot of food issues of her own which didn't match mine. A friend of hers who also does nutritional counseling told me I need a "crowd out" diet, not an elimination diet. A crowd-out diet is when new foods are introduced, and nothing is taboo. The new foods are gradually increased until they are the main or only source of nutrition. (I can't afford him, however.)
The problem is that it's almost impossible for me to learn to eat a new food. There is a kind of terror deep inside me. I can look at a plate of food and think that it looks like SOMEONE ELSE would eat it. But not me. If it smelled good to me (unlikely) I might be able to try a bite. I might. Maybe. Probably not.
And as I explained a few days ago, it's not that the food I do eat tastes so good to me or anything. It doesn't SCARE me. Although scare isn't the correct word.
My Slim-fast is a compromise. I wrote at length about my slim-fast a week or so ago. It tastes okay, it doesn't scare me. I'm not hungry after I eat it. And this plan I came up with is working for me. I do the slimfast for 10 meals a week (breakfast/lunch Monday-Friday) and for my other 9 meals I eat regular food in moderation. I have a snack on Friday night, sometimes I have dessert on Saturday night and I also have dessert on Sunday. No dessert during the week, no snacks during the week.
And if I KNOW that on Saturday I will have popcorn, I won't sit around thinking about it obsessively, how I can't have popcorn and how unhappy I am and how bad I want some.
Right now I am unhappy because I can't work out. Just sitting here with my leg against the side of the chair is causing me pain. 13 days of pain and then the surgery, and then 5 days in leg bandages, and THEN I can work out. I already made a date with my personal trainer to meet me at the pool for the day I return, because after a month without working out I'm going to be a mess. I'm very upset.
Yes, the doctor said I could work out from now until my surgery. But the pain is too much. It hurts to sit in the stupid chair. I am so angry.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

my vein pain

I went to the doctor this week about the pain in my varicose veins in my leg (the leg with the edema). I stopped working out because it hurts so bad. That's very bad. Working out is the only thing holding me back from being a blob in the bed.
He is going to inject some kind of plastic foam into 4 or 5 of my worse varicose veins. I have to wear pressure bandages (ace bandages) for 5 days and then I can go back to working out. Of course insurance doesn't pay. (Surprised? I'm not.)
I will try to remember to take a picture of my worse vein, the popped-out one, and then see how it looks afterward.
So I will be working out again at the beginning of July as I'm getting my veins done in 2 weeks.

responses to some comments (consider this a FAQ of sorts)

Are you on a diet?
I hate that word. I've modified my eating habits. I do the slim-fast thing Monday-Friday and eat less on the other days. I don't eat dessert or snacks Monday-Friday either. Just 2 slimfast shakes and one meal per day, plus water.
Are you hungry all the time?
No. I was hungry because I ran out of milk and had no slim-fast. I bought milk last night so I'm okay today. I'm not a hunger-driven person. If I am really hungry I eat, but I'm not really hungery all the time. My food problems are bad habit/food choices & unconscious eating & tourist eating.
Is this blog supposed to be funny?
Parts of it, yes. So laugh. Just laugh with me, not at me.
Are you getting bariatric surgery?
Probably not. Too many insurance issues. Plus I really don't want the bypass and that's what most doctors are pushing around here. The one that's not, I can't even get an appointment with--I tried for two years.
What's going on with Jackie's Story?
I never got a response to my email so your guess is as good as mine. Sorry. I really want to know too.

fast fat fact

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me!

--sent to me via email by a skinny friend, of all people, but he thinks I'm smart so hopefully it was a compliment.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Poisoned

I ate at Burger King for lunch.
It's not even an hour later and I feel poisoned. I am so frustrated. I have no other source of food and due to my work schedule today I can't even go out and BUY food until tomorrow night.
This is what happens:
I pick off all the edges of the bun which overlap the meat.
I end up taking half the rest of the bun and chucking it. So essentially I'm just eating the burger--plain, no stuff on it.
I eat the fries.
I use ketchup and lots of black pepper (good for the metabolism) a dash of salt to feed iodine to my thyroid.
I drink my diet soda.
I read my romance novel.
Then I leave.
Within a half hour, I feel flushed and...not exactly sweaty. But like I'm about to break into a sweat. Is there a word for that? Inchoate means that you're on the edge of something...can you say inchoate sweat? My breathing changes, become rougher. My stomach starts to hurt and gurgle. The longer I delay going to the bathroom, the worse it gets. I start to feel dizzy and faint. The pain in my lower body intensifies and I feel like I will absolutely explode. I feel like I have food poisoning. That's the only way to describe it.
I run to the bathroom and probably 75% of what's coming out comes out immediately. but if I don't linger for a few minutes and let the rest out, in fifteen or twenty minutes the sick feeling comes back and I have to run again. Sometimes that happens anyway.
It's not that I'd poo my pants. It's not that kind of feeling. It's a "there's something in me making me sick and I have to get it out" feeling.
Until a few months ago, I was literally like this after every meal, no matter what it was. Since I cut back on my solid foot intake in favor of slim-fast, I'm not so sick anymore. But every once in a while, the slim-fast will even trigger it.
I hate it.
This is why I am afraid to get bariatric surgery. What the hell would happen if my intestines and stomach were compromised? I think I might die or something. Really. This is with a (far as tests show) completely normal digestive track.

    The taste of food

    I was just thinking about food. Probably because I AM HUNGRY. I'm out of milk so I had no slim-fast breakfast and I'm working my 2nd job tonight so I'll have no dinner and no time to shop for more milk so tomorrow I will be hungry too. Between jobs tonight I'm going to the doctor for my popped-out varicose vein. I'm busy today and I need fuel.
    But my thoughts were about this: I don't eat food because it tastes good.
    That seems weird, doesn't it?
    But it's more important to me that my food NOT TASTE BAD than that it TASTE GOOD.
    I like my food to be familiar, even if that means that it has no taste to me anymore. Hardly ever do I finish a meal and think (or say) how yummy it was. Very rarely. For food to taste really good, I have to go a long time without eating that particular food, or a long time without eating any food. (I was on a business trip a few years ago where all the food was part of the convention and it was ethnic food and I hated it all. After 3 days the conference was over and I wasn't flying home until the next day so I went to a chain restaurant all by myself in this strange city and had the BEST hamburger I've ever had. And even then I recognized that the only reason why that burger was so damn good was because I was starving.)
    So my eating habits are solely determined by a NEGATIVE. My food must not taste bad or smell bad. (The only exception is ketchup. I can't stand how it smells, but somehow I don't notice the smell until I'm done eating. Once I'm done, any leftover ketchup on my plate must be thrown away or washed away immediately.)
    The problem is, different is bad. If I haven't eaten it before, or it smells weird, that's it. It's bad. It took me years before I could eat Mexican food and even still, I have a lot of rules--no guacamole, no onions, no refried beans, no lettuce, no weird red sauce unless it's salsa or Pico de Gallo.
    And I can SEE how damaging this is, how screwed up, how WRONG. (There I go, judging myself. Judging is bad. Wait. Saying that judging is bad is judging. ARGH!). But I can't stop. I can't get off this ride.

    "I pooed 'em"

    Have any of you ever seen the episode of South Park with Rod Stewart where the aging rocker keeps crapping his pants and saying "I pooed 'em"?
    This article put me in mind of it. People are suing Frito-Lay for not disclosing that there is olestra in their "light" chips and therefore those people who eat the chips shit themselves.
    It's pretty funny actually.


    Frito-Lay said Thursday its chips that contain olestra will bear more prominent labeling alerting consumers to the presence of the fat substitute. The change wards off a lawsuit that a consumer group had threatened on behalf of a woman who said the snacks gave her stomach cramps and forced her to rush to the bathroom. .... The Center for Science in the Public Interest had threatened to sue Frito-Lay unless it better disclosed that its Light chips — including versions of Tostitos, Lay's and Ruffles — contained the fake fat. The Washington, D.C.-based consumer group said since 1996 it has received reports from more than 3,700 consumers who have experienced adverse reactions after eating products made with olestra.


    A bit more on Olestra, from another source:
    (T)he (original) unappealing health warning label, which was mandated by the FDA: This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added. The warning was popularly misquoted as containing the phrase “anal leakage”, which although not on the label, was indeed a problem with early formulations of olestra that were not marketed. The FDA removed the warning requirement in 2003, stating that consumers were now aware of Olestra's "GI effects" and were confused in thinking that they would lose fat-soluble vitamins by eating Olestra products.


    What is the issue here? Is it fat people like me pooing their pants? (Not that I have pooed my pants--not since I was a small child.) Or is it that old fiend, overeating/greed/gluttony/tourist eating?
    Olestra is like the stuff they put in sugar-free chocolates. If you eat too much, you get sick and there better be a toilet nearby (or a box of Depends). People have a tendency to think that Fat Free or Sugar Free means Calorie Free (or olly-olly-in-free at the end of the tag game when everyone's moms are yelling for them to come home.) And they eat A LOT more. My husband ate an entire BAG of sugar-free peanut butter cups a few years ago and thought he was going to die. He was in the bathroom for an HOUR groaning and cursing me for not warning him. (I did--I said, "don't eat more than THREE" --did he think I mean THREE BAGS?).
    I have eaten a few fat-free potato chips ("crisps" for our friends in the UK). They are yummy. And chips in general are addicting and easy to eat. They melt to nothing in your mouth and don't fill you up AT ALL. I haven't eaten enough fat-free chips at once to become ill from it.
    Fat free chips aside, most "sugar free" "fat free" and "light" products don't taste as good as the "real" thing (not even those damn peanut butter cups, although they are pretty good). And somehow they aren't as satisfying and the desire doesn't go away to eat them. I can eat half a giant homemade chocolate chip cookie warm from the oven and be happy. Or I can eat an entire bag of reduced-fat Chips Ahoy and still be craving "something".
    So is the issue here that Olestra is on the ingredients but there's no more leakage warning? Or is the issue that people overeat and then want to blame others for their problems? Weight gain, anal leakage, belly ache, diabetes, clogged arteries. It's not my fault--it's THEIR FOOD.
    BULLSHIT.
    The ONLY person outside myself I have EVER blamed for my weight is my parents. (I guess that's "people" not "person" huh). Because they didn't teach me good eating habits. They didn't make me eat my vegetables. They just gave up over my fussy palate and let me eat peanut butter sandwiches.
    It's not entirely their fault though. They didn't grow up with some of the things I had and they had no idea of the impact on my chubby body. I can remember my parents getting Pop Shoppe soda. I would drink three or four bottles of it at a sitting--and this wasn't diet. I can remember being in 3 grade and coming home from school, my mom wasn't home from work yet, sitting with a six pack of 7-up (the tall thin green glass bottles) and drinking the WHOLE six-pack while reading. I didn't know what a calorie was. I knew the other kids on the street all hated me and called me horrible names and I didn't want to go outside and play with them. I drank that much soda until my junior or senior year of high school when I switched to diet.
    I never ate a lot of food. I'm not a binge eater. I'm a soda drinker. So now that I've had 95% or more diet soda for almost 20 years, why aren't I thin? Well that's the $64,000 question isn't it?

    Thursday, June 01, 2006

    varicose veins

    For the last week or so a couple of the varicose veins on my thigh have been hurting me. I can't sleep on my side. When I walk, they hurt.
    One of them is popped out. This happened with my edema started and I went to the massage therapist. I told her, "don't touch my varicose vein" and not only did she touch it, she DUG HER THUMB INTO IT and it popped the next day.
    I went to the gym yesterday after a week off (due to the holiday and some personal things I had to do on Friday) and after about 20 minutes the veins hurt so bad I had to leave the pool. So you know I was angry at that. I immediately called my doctor who referred me to a vascular surgeon. I just don't like the sound of that AT ALL...unless of course he can do a tummy tuck while he's in there doing something I can't contemplate to my thigh. So I am going to see this surgeon on Tuesday 06-06-06....oh spooky. (whatever--it was a dumb movie the first time and it will remain a dumb movie this time)

    Ikea hates the obese

    For whatever reason a couple of years ago Ikea chose New Haven as the location of an Ikea store. It has become a Mecca for people my age. Everyone goes there. Personally, I think the food is cheap and not too gross (2 beef hotdogs, a huge bag of chips and a soda for $2-or maybe it's $3 but still damn cheap), but the furniture I can do without. It's not my thing. And by thing, I mean, I am too fat for their chairs.
    I was there a couple of days ago with some friends who just added onto their house and need all new furniture. (Poor them.) "Look at this chair!" they exclaim, plopping their delicate bottoms down and bouncing. "Here, you try it, Rose" (only they use my real name of course, which isn't Rosie). I decline.
    Ikea seems to like chairs with no legs in the back. If I was SKINNY I wouldn't sit in a chair with no legs in the back. Tiny chairs made for anorexic 12-year olds. This series of pictures, taken from their website, shows what I am talking about.

    I told my friend, "I can't sit in that crappy cheap furniture" well you would have thought insulted the pope (nazi)! How dare I call it cheap. It's very well made. (if you put it together right). Well, there's no warning on it saying that the load can't exceed a certain weight so it would serve the store right if I sat in every one of their cheesey little chairs and broke them. Speaking of breaking chairs, maybe Ikea is where the mom of that immensely fat little Russian boy shops. That would explain why all their furniture is broken!

    I kind of hate going there. I mean, the cinnamon buns are good ($4 for 6 big buns) but they go stale the next day and I hate to waste a whole meal on one bun, because I can either have a meal or a dessert during the week, and I wouldn't dare go to Ikea on the weekend. That would be scary
    It's just illogical that they market such flimsy furniture to Americans, when 67% of us are overweight and half those overweight people are o-beasts like myself. Who buys this stuff? I bet it all goes in children's rooms. Or maybe it doesn't get bought at all. Maybe it's a vast conspiracy to make me hate myself.
    Not that it's at all difficult to make me be full of self-loathing
    . Just show me the size tag on my clothing, or better yet a video of my fat ass.