Wednesday, November 02, 2005

binge n purge, & what fat guys eat

Not all people who binge & purge are thin. Depending on how you do it, it might not even get rid of all the calories. And it's so horrible for your body! I couldn't do it--I couldn't puke. I could probably do laxatives, but my body already naturally flushes everything I eat within an hour or so, so what the hell do I need laxatives for?
I believe Dr D. based her diagnosis on the fact that I told her I don't keep certain foods in the house because I would eat too many/much. To me, that's just wisdom, not a disease. I know lots of people who eat too much of a food and therefore avoid it--and lots of them are skinny. A lot of it is programming. Finish your food. Clean your plate. I know that however much food you put in front of me, I will usually eat (I am trying hard not to--but there's kids starving in China!). So I have all kinds of tricks to start out with less food.
But you know what? It's about Dr D and her prejudices. She's thin. She should not be consueling overweight people. What does she know?
And I'm really coming to understand that it's NOT about willpower and it's NOT about what I eat--which means, will the surgery even HELP me if it's not about what I eat?
I saw a very obese man this weekend--probably over 500 lbs; his panniculus almost touched the ground between his knees when he sat--in a restaurant, and he ate a regular sized portion of food. I don't know what he eats when he's alone, of course. I have to admire him for eating out--I have problems sometimes going to restuarants and I'm smaller than him.

welcome fellow NaNoWriMos--& Hi Abby

Thanks for stopping by! If you post a comment anonymously and you want me to answer you, please put your NaNo name in the post so I can reply through the NaNo site. I am also listed as an expert on Obesity in the forum (which is probably how you found me).

TO Abby
The 1,000 pound man was literally on the verge of death so they did it as emergency surgery. It is not emergency surgery for me. I am not dying--I don't even have very many "good" co-morbidites (I haven't got diabetes or high blood pressure or high cholesterol--just mild sleep apnea & varicose veins). I am just extremely fat. For me, it's elective surgery (which is why it's so hard to get the insurance to pay).

As far as my therapist manipulating me to get more money (two people have made comments about that) perhaps you're all misunderstanding. I have my regular weekly therapist, who is working with me pro-bono (no charge) forfeiting her $125 a session because she believes she can help me. Then I have the psychologist I was sent to by the bariatric doctor--she is the one holding me back, saying I have an eating disorder that I don't have. I only have to see her once more, and I haven't called her, because I haven't figured out how to prove a negative (that I don't binge & purge). SHE pisses me off. My regular therapist doesn't piss me off. It's probably confusing cuz they are both female and I try not to name any names on this site.

I also like your idea about the fat girl in the perfect world. Would she be seen as ugly and a freak, or would her different-ness make her exotic and attractive?