Monday, March 28, 2005

my reply to him

> Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2005 08:17:18 -0800 (PST)
> From: Rosie Young
> Subject: RE: Raised Bill No. 1300 LCO No. 4320
> *04320_______INS*
> To: "Sen. Deluca, Louis"
> Where am I supposed to come up with $20,000-35,000
> to
> pay for my surgery when I work at a minimum wage
> job?
> Isn't that also increasing families' burden? If I
> had lung cancer threatening my life, the insurance
> would pay--even if the reason I had lung cancer was
> from smoking! Why is weight-loss surgery any
> different: it saves lives and actually decreases the
> amount of money the insurance companies pay out over
> the lifetime of an obese individual for their other
> health problems.
> This is a form of prejudice, and it's WRONG.
> Rosie Young

NOTE: He did not respond.

my house is clean but my spirit is sad

I got paid for doing some graphic design & editing work 2 weeks ago, and this weekend I used that money to get my house scrubbed. Amazing. I'm going to have her come back and clean every week or so--she did an awesome job. She even cleaned the bird room! I absolutely hate paying someone more money than I make to clean my house, but it has to be done. My therapist says that it "supports my destiny" to have a clean house. So I'm happy about that, but in general I'm still really sad, watching my life drain away. Only one person responded to the email I sent out about the bill to make insurance companies cover the surgery so I have no idea if anyone actually took any action--the person who responded didn't say she did, just wanted
to tell me something else. I think it got defeated.
There was even an article on CNN.Com quoting my doctor about it.
I feel so very sad, like sadness is a permanent part of me, like my eye color or the freckle on my face or my Morton's toe syndrome. And i'm so tired, physically tired (but at least I know WHY-the sleep fragementaton/apnea thing) and spiritually tired, just all used up.

Friday, March 25, 2005

100 Reasons to lose 100 Lbs

from: The Doctor's Guide to Weight Loss Surgery : How to Make the Decision That Could Save Your Life by M.D. Louis Flancbaum (Author), Deborah Flancbaum (Author), Erica Manfred (Author)

100 Reasons to lose 100 Lbs
1 . To feel good about yourself
2. To have GREAT sex! :)
3. So you won't think people are laughing or talking about you
4. To buy clothes in a normal store that are actually stylish and fit correctly
5. To have more energy
6. To be able to tie your shoes and paint your toenails
7. To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully
8. To wear a bathing suit
9. To cross your legs
10. To fit into an airline, theatre, bus, or whatever seat without spilling over and without having to see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you
11. So your ankles won't swell
12. To fit into a booth at any restaurant
13. To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray table not balance on your belly
14. To not worry about being hit by the air bag in your car during an accident because you have to sit so close to it
15. To not turn beet red after moderate exertion
16. To be able to pick something up off the floor
17. To wear panty hose that fit
18. To go to an amusement park and ride the rides
19. To be able to sit in any chair without worrying about breaking it
20. To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by
21. To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping
22. To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike
23. To not worry about rashes and sweating in unreachable places
24. To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still say ... "gee you have such a pretty face"
25. To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse, dress, or shirt when you're eating
26. To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something be cause you know your weight will impede you
27. To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat
28. To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria's Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy"
29. To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, and exercise equipment, etc.
30. To not get stuck in a turnstile
31. To not wake up feeling achy in you back or to have ache-free legs and feet
32. So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it
33. To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you when you get up
34. So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras
35. To never be embarrassed about your size
36. To not count walking to the refrigerator as daily exercise
37. To not have to wait for the handicapped bathroom stalls when there are plenty of other stalls available
38. To not be more out of shape than seniors citizens
39. To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side
40. To be able to put on wedding rings again
41. To try to make a double chin and fail
42. To buy clothing bargains that fit for the next year
43. To not have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants burst open
44. To wear normal waistbands rather than elastic
45. To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches
46. To look good in a tee shirt
47. To try on jeans and have the pant leg actually fit over your leg
48. To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly
49. To get out of a stuffed chair gracefully and not look down to see if the chair has come up with you
50. To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit
51. To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others
52. To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face
53. To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart
54. To buy an item of clothing without an "X" in it
55. To have your friends not be embarrassed to be seen with you
56. To get promoted, hired or close that sale
57. To wear pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt
58. No more boobs! (this is for the guys)
59. To wear shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others
60. To see your cholesterol plunge
61. To successfully flirt
62. To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a two door car
63. To wear "One size fits all" that fits you too
64. To have a lap
65. To not have the car you are riding in slant in your direction
66. To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to "get the job done."
67. To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera
68. To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly and your butt
69. To not experience chafing of the upper thighs
70. So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the pants do
71. To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself
72. To not take fat references and fat jokes personally
73. To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you can be comfortable and look at ease
74. To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach around
75. To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised
76. To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach
77. To have your feet got smaller
78. To use your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to got the food from your lips to your stomach
79. To see your blood pressure return to normal
80. To see your blood sugar return to normal
81. To be able to borrow a coworker's jacket for an important impromptu meeting
82. To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with amazement ... because they never knew you were so fat
83. To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away
84. To wear a watch with a regular length watch band
85. To not pee when you cough or sneeze
86. To not mind getting your picture taken
87. To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed in"
88. To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go
89. To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces
90. To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit
91. To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to wear to work since you have so many that look good and fit well
92. To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed
93. To buy tie shoes instead of slip-ons
94. To be able to walk any distance without resting on a bench
95. To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes
96. To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating
97. To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days
98. To not feel lower than low when a child remarks about your size
99. To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from
100. To not get heartburn when you lie down
And the best reason to lose 100 pounds .....

Thursday, March 24, 2005

a caring, concerned reply (NOT)

> From: "Sen. Deluca, Louis"
> To: 'Rosie Young'
> Subject: RE: Raised Bill No. 1300 LCO No. 4320
> *04320_______INS*
> Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:10:02 -0500
> I understand your concerns regarding Bill No. 1300,
> An Act Requiring Health
> Insurance Coverage for Medically Necessary Weight
> Reduction Surgery,
> however, I do not support this legislation. As a
> policy position, I oppose
> all legislation with unfunded mandates, which
> increase costs of insurance
> policies. The increased costs make health insurance
> more unattainable for
> citizens and forces many small businesses to stop
> offering coverage to their
> employees. At a time when we are trying to lower the
> number of uninsured in
> Connecticut, added more mandates and driving up the
> costs is a step in the
> wrong direction.
> I do understand your position, but I can not support
> this or any other
> legislation that makes insurance even more expensive
> for Connecticut's
> families.
> Sincerely,
> Louis C. DeLuca
> Senate Republican Leader

Obesity Surgery bill in CT

> Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 05:13:43 -0800 (PST)
> From: Rosie Young
> Subject: Raised Bill No. 1300 LCO No. 4320
> *04320_______INS*
> To:,
> I am one of the people who will be denied surgery
> due to cheap, uncaring insurance companies. I don't
> want to die but I feel like my life doesn't matter.
> If I had cancer, they would pay for that surgery
> without asking questions about my previous behavior
> that might have given me cancer--and I wouldn't have
> to jump through hoops and send letters to get the
> treatment I needed. This is discrimation and it's a
> death sentence. Please, please help.
> Rosie Young
> PO Box xxxx
> xxxx CT 06xxx
> life as a
> morbidly obese woman

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Sleep Study/Sleep Apnea results

They take a long time to come back, and I have to have another study done. Yuck.

I have mild sleep apnea. I stop breathing 3.9 times per hour and my blood oxygen level drops to 90%. I also have sleep fragmentation, where I never leave stage 2 sleep and get into stages 3 & 4 (when you dream) which leads to daytime exhaustion.

The next study will be about the machine to help me sleep. I don't want the machine.